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The Guiding Hand To Happiness We Ignore

Here’s a brutal truth. We all have a constant and powerful guide to tell us exactly what we need to do to build happiness and success. Yet we ignore it. I sure as heck do. Bet you do too. Here it is.

There are two aspects of my life right now that are making me very unhappy. One is a relationship which needs my focus, patience and engagement. The other is my weight and fitness. Both are absolutely within my power to take action on, and to make fast progress. I also know that making a start on each would have an immediate, big and positive impact on my life… on my energy, optimism, peace of mind, momentum and happiness.

And yet I do nothing. I look at these two issues as if a spectator. Removed. Watching. Waiting. Yet motionless. Why? Here lies that brutal truth. Does it hold true for you?

You resist the most what you need the most.

My very essence just refuses to tackle either. I do everything I can to ignore each, and stop myself starting to deal with them.

I’m a capable, driven person. I achieve most goals I set.

Yet on the very big ticket items, the stuff I know at my core would revolutionise my happiness, I just don’t seem to be able to get myself moving. I’m stuck. Like in a really bad dream. Where the bear is chasing you. And you just can’t run forward. You’re in slow motion. It’s like a hurricane is blowing in your face and no matter how much you struggle, you are stuck to the spot.

I feel claustrophobic just writing this. My heart is racing. I have to loosen my collar.

You resist the most what you need the most. I know what I need to do – what my absolute number 1 and 2 priorities are. How do I know? Because I am resisting the fricken bejesus out of doing them.

What about you? What are you resisting the most right now?

Think about it. Face reality. Get clarity. I bet you’ll find that these are the things you need to do the most in your life right now. Yet you don’t do them.

If I’m wrong, tell me your secret. Please.

If I am right, then join me in a new resolve. To take action. To take action. To take action.

Enough already. I need to breathe.

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39 Responses to The Guiding Hand To Happiness We Ignore

  1. Drue Castanelli August 5, 2015 at 10:13 am #

    I’m in! It’s time to take charge of all those unpleasant things that cause us angst. Clear the slate and move forward with a breath of fresh air.

    • Chris Savage August 5, 2015 at 9:16 pm #

      Good for you, Drue. Go for it!!

  2. Sing August 5, 2015 at 10:33 am #

    Hi Chris, I’ve enjoyed many of your posts. Mate, we are all only human. But the fact that you are aware of what’s stopping you – that is, YOU! You are already on the journey of making the changes.

    The secret is, are you ready?

    The secret is you will pull your finger out and do the things you know you need to do WHEN you are ready to take action.

    I’ve been through this, to survive and thrive I keep a right attitude and walk in faith in God (or universe, which ever you choose to believe in).

    All will be the best.

    Cheers,
    Sing

    • Chris Savage August 5, 2015 at 9:16 pm #

      Thanks Sing- I like that counsel!

  3. James P August 5, 2015 at 10:39 am #

    I was just thinking the same thing.

    • Chris Savage August 5, 2015 at 9:16 pm #

      Thanks James

  4. Richard August 5, 2015 at 11:08 am #

    So very true, I don’t even like me reminded by your blog.

    • Chris Savage August 5, 2015 at 9:15 pm #

      Take action, Richard!!

  5. John Skinner August 5, 2015 at 11:54 am #

    Hi Chris,
    Despite my best efforts, I also struggle with PROCRASTINATION on many important issues in my life. I’d also suggest that the nature of the issues you’ve outlined, also makes things more difficult, because they’re not single tasks, but involve on-going commitments – which may never be completed!
    I found the following article summarises the key drivers which shape our behaviours in this space, and together with related articles, provide helpful hints on how we can use different techniques to overcome our various challenges – https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200308/procrastination-ten-things-know
    I hope this helps. Best wishes John S.

  6. Bruce Matchett August 5, 2015 at 12:18 pm #

    We all have a relationship that needs more focus and we all struggle with weight issues. Mate, stop beating yourself up 🙂

    Sending you a hug

    Bruce

    • Chris Savage August 5, 2015 at 9:15 pm #

      Ha! Thanks Bruce. As one of the fittest guys I know, you can say that!

  7. Paul A August 5, 2015 at 1:19 pm #

    you love to hate the one you hate to love

    • Chris Savage August 5, 2015 at 9:14 pm #

      Thanks Paul

  8. Colleen Rose August 5, 2015 at 1:25 pm #

    Chris – you always seem to touch exactly the issue that I need to deal with in my own life. Thank you for your always inspiring posts! To take action today!

    • Chris Savage August 5, 2015 at 9:14 pm #

      Thanks Colleen- hope you are well and happy. Chris

  9. Aleisha August 5, 2015 at 1:30 pm #

    Possibly you resist the things you want the most because you fear the outcomes. I know I need to stop doing my current job in Communications and start making progressive steps towards a photography business idea I have, but every opportunity I have to make it happen I find a reason why I cant do it. “I am working, i’m tired, i’m not good enough, how would I make money from that, waste of time…” if you need an “out” reason I can find it. But I have realised recently I put it off because I fear the outcome. the “what if’s”. And this is the difference between successful – HAPPY – people and the rest of us who just stay on the main road. I hope you find the nouce to combat your inner fears and reasons not to commit to happiness.

    • Chris Savage August 5, 2015 at 9:14 pm #

      Aleisha- read the article John Skinner puts in his comments below (or above)…on procrastination. I think it’s very insightful in relation to what you raise. Thanks!

  10. Kirsty August 5, 2015 at 4:30 pm #

    I completely feel your pain. The universe, I imagine, is sick of giving me signs about my life’s path and what will put me on my road to happiness. I don’t take action, yet constantly ask for direction. I’m a thorn in my own side, post rationalising why I haven’t made those leaps yet. I’m making a list and taking action. Thanks Chris.

    • Chris Savage August 5, 2015 at 9:13 pm #

      Good for you, Kirsty!!

  11. Nico August 5, 2015 at 8:13 pm #

    As always this one comes just right at the time where it’s most needed.
    Thanks Chris.
    For a quick start on fitness try https://7minuteworkout.jnj.com/ it’s amazing what the power of small incremental commitments can do to get you there.

    • Chris Savage August 9, 2015 at 2:21 pm #

      Thanks Nico- keep the faith and keep focused on what we discussed. Chris

  12. Andy Lyons August 6, 2015 at 12:40 am #

    You’ve brought to light that the life I’ve been living is a dichotomy: the career one and the personal one. While each gives me happiness, it’s certainly not equal and the career-side wins out. By a lot. Every time. And I know I’ve got to pay more attention to the personal side. I keep telling myself what I’ve been saying for decades, “I’ll get to it, I’ll get to it.” I’m a smart guy. I know I should. And I will. Eventually. Procrastination is a hard thing to shake.
    And the weight thing? Realization has set in. Every so often in the middle of the night I catch a glimpse of a chubby, bald guy in the mirror.
    “Exercise. Now!” I say to myself in one breath and in the next: “I’ll get to it…..”
    Thanks again for your wisdom, Chris. This post is a very loud call to action.

    • Chris Savage August 9, 2015 at 2:20 pm #

      Glad to hear it Andy. Was that my reflection you saw in the mirror! Chris

  13. Susan August 6, 2015 at 8:08 am #

    Totally agree with you and I think part of it is that we know we need it and we know we will benefit from it, but we also know it will not be easy (that’s why we have been putting it off). But the hardest step is always the first and once we start to see a little bit of gain – it makes it easier to keep going and we wonder why we put it off for so long. Wishing you strength and courage.

    • Chris Savage August 9, 2015 at 2:21 pm #

      Thanks Susan!

  14. Alexa August 6, 2015 at 1:09 pm #

    Hey Chris,
    Sometimes it’s about having a little self-forgiveness. We can be so hard on ourselves and are our own worst critic. I found that the gentle mental shift from continually focusing on what I “should do” to what I “really feel like doing right now,” because I’m listening to my body and those things will make me feel happy.

    We all need exercise and with that topic I’d always recommend a support systems to maintain the behaviour shift – turning goals into habits. Again, we’re human, we all need a little helping hand.

    But the anxiety…is that from expectations that you’ve set for yourself or those placed upon you by others?

    If it’s you, again – forgive, be kind to yourself. The rest is so much easier when you let happiness come back into your life.

    You can definitely achieve this.

    • Chris Savage August 9, 2015 at 2:22 pm #

      Appreciated Alexa. Thanks

  15. Camille August 6, 2015 at 2:16 pm #

    Would a blood pressure test or BMIndex test or cholesterol test get you up and moving? It did for my boss. He was on the verge of a heart attack. Freaked me out, let alone freaking him out! I was inspired by his change of diet and the small things he introduced into his life for the better.

    For example: take the stairs instead of the lift. Walk up an escalator instead of just standing on it. That sounds easy eh? Reduced over-processed food in your diet, but start with no-fizzy-drinks. It is little and you can control that. Start walking instead of jogging. Then before you know it, 20 days later these three common everyday choices are part of your lifestyle! Pick another 3 and go again.

    He has achieved the above things and his latest health check is proof that these little things really make a difference.

    If my boss can do it and I can do it, then you can too Chris.

    Remember: How do you eat a large meal? One bite at a time.

    • Chris Savage August 9, 2015 at 2:22 pm #

      Thanks Camille!!

  16. Mark Barber August 7, 2015 at 9:15 am #

    Thanks Chris. I’m now inspired to notice the things I’m conveniently ignoring and re prioritise! Re: health and fitness. If by chance time consumed is a barrier, it’s worth noting that every hour invested would likely be fully repaid as gained productivity and effectiveness. Cheers.

    • Chris Savage August 9, 2015 at 2:23 pm #

      Thanks Mark. Appreciated. Chris

  17. Gary August 11, 2015 at 10:05 am #

    Sensational post Chris, one of your best. And timely….I am spending my spare time researching related articles to Johns link above while trying not to get my marketing work done. And trying to figure out why I am not using my gym membership.

    • Chris Savage August 11, 2015 at 2:16 pm #

      Good to hear Gary!!

  18. Craig August 12, 2015 at 1:52 am #

    Hi Chris,
    Its also good to think about it from another angle, because sometimes we think we want things, but we forget there are other things we want that are in conflict with the first ones, so:

    – what do you get from not tackling those priorities?

    OR…..

    – What are you afraid of losing if you were to start tackling them?
    – what things might you lose (that you secretly love or are attached to?)

    Sending you huge strength and complete faith that you will choose to prioritise these things as soon as you realize you really do want them and what other things you are willing to let go of.

    • Chris Savage August 12, 2015 at 9:17 am #

      Thanks Craig!

  19. Craig August 12, 2015 at 1:59 am #

    If you are wondering about support that is great value for money, not cultish, religious, clickey, or wacky, trippy, hippy or new age fandangled, then I recommend The Mankind Project.

    It happens to be one of the best, grounded, sincere and enjoyable trainings for men by men that exists out there.

    Most men who have done it have their family members thank them and the project for the changes they see.

    Its a community of men, (some of the most authentic and wonderful I have ever met and they are us, men who join and learn these powerful and simple tools and processes) that help us deal with our shadows, or the things we hide, deny and repress, and gives us tools to work with it.

    Its a beautiful and profound experience and journey.

    http://mkpau.org/

    • Chris Savage August 12, 2015 at 9:17 am #

      Thanks Craig. The Brand Guy has told me about this too. I’ll look into it. Chris

  20. Jayne Albiston September 8, 2015 at 12:26 pm #

    So just wondering – have you started yet? Why give yourself one more day of angst! Be like Nike – Just do it. 🙂

    • Chris Savage September 9, 2015 at 12:42 pm #

      Thanks Jayne! Good reminder. Chris

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